long time no speak

Well here we are nearly four months since I last logged on and posted. Although my last post is dated 11 October, it was actually posted on 7 October, as I somehow managed to post it on my husband's blog and not mine, so it had to be moved.

What a lot has happened in the time since I last logged on. I have felt unable to post as I now have to write down the words that my dad died whilst I was in Saudi Arabia. I flew home on Sunday 11 October, the day he died. Whilst he had been unwell for many months and he was 89, it does not make it any easier when the time comes. It is still a parent that has gone forever and your life somehow changes. I will talk more about this later, as I cope well most days, but some things I still find very hard.

So back to Saudi Arabia!

If I had continued to post regularly whilst in Saudi Arabia, my next post would have indicated that even situations which feel insurmountable can be overcome. On the Thursday, we met up with some of my husband's family, which was just so lovely for me. We spent a wonderful day with them and my sister in law was able to help and direct me so much into understanding what is acceptable in terms of clothing etc. We went clothes shopping (always a big plus!) and then just enjoyed all being together. In the evening we met with some of my sister in law's family and another wonderful couple who are very good friends of my brother in law and sister in law. Saudi custom is that men and women sit at different tables in restaurants. Women sit behind a closed curtain for modesty. However, what I learned that evening is that whatever people's beliefs, traditions or cultures are, they are human beings, who have their thoughts, likes, dislikes sense of humour and life experiences. Like in every society there are good and bad people and that it is too easy to simply judge people on how they look, dress or behave. It really humbled me and made me realise that I had maybe not made enough of an effort with people earlier in the week. I can truly say that I had a wonderful evening. We laughed, we exchanged stories, we talked about our respective religious beliefs, we talked about our homes and our life styles and I can honestly say that I made some good friends that evening. Little did I know how wonderfully supportive they were to be to me over the coming days, a time when I needed love and support so very much. It was decided that I would travel up to stay with my brother in law and sister in law by the coast for a few days the following Tuesday. They live with their three gorgeous children on a compound in Dharan. We were planning various events to enable me to meet other ex-pat wives and get to know them.

On the Friday, we met with the same group for lunch. For me it was really something to look forward to and it was like meeting friends I had known for a long time. we then went shopping (again - what a hardship!).

Sadly by Thursday evening I knew that my dad was very ill. By Saturday I knew that he was dying. This was incredibly very hard for me with being so far away. On Saturday I made the decision that I would need to return to the UK and so we booked the flight for Sunday evening. I think I have rarely been so touched in all my life by the number of phone calls, text messages and messages from my husband's colleagues that I was to receive on the Saturday and Sunday. My husband's family phoned from various countries in which they live to send their love and support. it was a really heart warming experience. The majority of these were people who I had only met a few days earlier and yet here they were giving me such tremendous support at my time of need. I can only say that it was a very humbling experience for me, as well as a huge learning curve in human nature and a huge lesson for me in not being too judgemental and learning to look for the good in people. So on Sunday evening I set off for the airport, just one week and one day after I had arrived. Reality really set in for me at the check in desk, it hit me like a tonne of bricks that I was here at this desk because my dad had died. I have to confess that I completely lost it and broke down. Saying goodbye to my husband was such an incredibly hard thing to do. He was obviously staying behind to complete his contract, and was not due to fly home for another three weeks. I had no idea at that time if he would be able to get home for the funeral or if I would be facing that on my own. I tried to read, but my book simply held no interest for me whatsoever. My outburst at the check in desk resulted in me being upgraded to Business Class for the flight, which was lovely. I was escorted on to the plane by ground staff and all the cabin crew had been informed of my situation. The first thing they did was to make me a lovely cup of hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, such a comforting thing to have. I did manage a few hours sleep (with the help of some Kalms which my wonderful husband gave me) and some champagne. It felt like the longest flight of my whole life even though it was only 7 1/2 hours.

It was with a double sense of sadness that I left that evening. As well as the obvious sadness of losing my dad, I was so sad to be leaving behind wonderful people that I had been privileged to meet. They had helped me to realise that I could possibly live in Saudi Arabia.

I am going to sign off for now, but will be back soon to update on life over the last few months.

Bye for now.

Rita R
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